When was the last time you laid on your back, on a warm summer day, and watched the clouds morph shapes as they drift across the sky? I had such an opportunity this past weekend, and as I lay there, full of awe and experiencing the deep sensory pleasure of a warm breeze, it struck me that it had been a looong time since I had embraced deep, conscious rest.
As a small business owner, homeowner, faculty member, neighbor, friend, daughter, sister, aunt and wife, there’s always something to do. In fact, as I lay there being entertained by the clouds, ostensibly doing nothing, thoughts of my to-do list encroached on this moment of repose. Instead of taking out my phone to make notes, I just took a deep breath and said, “not now.”
The time spent doing nothing was short lived – had to go make breakfast – but it got me reflecting on deep rest (other than sleep), and its role in creating balance in the mind, body and spirit.
It’s nice that there’s a federal holiday celebrating our labors: we labor to contribute to community, economy, family and a sense of our human identity. But do we celebrate labor/doing/working too much, so that it is out of balance with deep rest?
Rest Math
How much rest do we need to thrive? For most people, 7-8 hour of quality sleep is needed to rejuvenate and detox the body. But what about intentional rest, or single- focus activity?
Let’s say, hypothetically, that for long-term wellness sustainability, that energy-in and energy-out needs to be 50-50.
If we sleep for 8 hours and work for 8 hours (balancing each other out), that leaves 8 hours that needs to be balanced out. For every one of those hours before and after work that we are active, we would need an equivalent number of hours that we are at rest. Say, 4 hours of activity and 4 hours of rest. That’s a lot of resting!
Perhaps the great spiritual and meditation teachers are on to something when they suggest 20 minutes twice per day for inward focusing. This time for concentrated focus allows the brain and body systems to calm down and attune themselves, ultimately allowing for better executive function and allocation of resources.
What qualifies as deep rest? (IMHO)
- Meditation, any type.
- Yoga Nidra, or Non Sleep Deep Rest (NSDR) guided relaxation
- Laying down looking at the sky
- Walking in nature without a purpose or agenda (Forest Bathing)
- Taking a bath
- Watching a fire (in a fireplace or bonfire)
- Sitting and watching the world go by (say, people-watching sitting in a café)
- Reading material that takes the attention inward to explore self-understanding
- …what do you do?
In our day and age, it certainly seems an impossible luxury to make time for “doing nothing,” especially on a regular basis – I know I often feel the need to doing something productive, even if it is cleaning the house or preparing a meal. But maybe it is essential to balancing out the pull and turmoil of the outer world.
With my programs and 1:1 clients, I encourage the development of a meditation or reflection practice such as journaling. When it comes to quitting sugar, I often describe the benefits as similar to becoming a tennis pro. When someone is new to the game of tennis, they spend most of their time reacting to what their opponent does, running all over the court. But as one gets better and better at the game, one begins to anticipate the direction of the ball, so much so that one can see where the ball is going to go by observing how the opponent is standing and the angle of the racquet, at the moment the ball comes into contact with it. Now the player sees what is going to happen, and can go to meet the ball.
Meditation helps us create more space between stimulus and response, allowing for choices to emerge. Include space between seeing the cookies (or thinking about them) and actually reaching for them.
I don’t think taking a bath or watching a fire is necessarily the same as meditation, but the calming effects on the nervous system must be similar.
If you don’t already have a contemplative or rest practice, try taking just 5 or 10 minutes to start, to calm your breath and focus your attention every day for a week, and see if it doesn’t shift things for you.
